Satire

I Am Quite Sure I Dated a Turtle

There can’t be that many coincidences, right?

A turtle staring at my ex, wondering if he’s worth mating. Photo by Joshua J. Cotten on Unsplash

My ex-boyfriend’s eyes reminded me of a turtle. Same emotion-less black beads staring at me, hoping they might get something out of me.

A real turtle expected food, my ex-boyfriend expected sex. One was food for the stomach, the other for the body.